Losing a parent is hard. I remember thinking, "why is the whole world going on like nothing happened?" It seemed the Earth should stop rotation, the cars stop driving, the people stop talking....but everyone else just kept going.
I remember telling Dan, "I know this will change me, I just need to make sure it changes me to be better--to be a better person."
Truthfully, I'm not sure that has happened. I still take people for granted when I shouldn't. I don't stay in touch with friends and family nearly as well as I should. I don't say thank you often enough. I don't serve others often enough. I don't say I love you as often as I should. I could go on and on...but I can say I try. I try to do better, to be better...someday I'll get there...
Here is what I do know: I've returned to my faith, and know that by the grace of God I'll see my Dad again one day. I know that the tragedy of losing my Dad made me realize, even more, what an incredible man I married. He has been a rock for me and my entire family--immediately following Dad's death, and continues to be so strong for all of us. My Dad's brothers and their families--there are not enough words to say thank you for everything they did for my Dad, and the continued support they offer. I have the BEST sister in the world, no contest. I have AMAZING friends whom I call family, and are now "aunts" to my son. I am BLESSED by my family, Dan's family, and our friends. I wish I had belonged to the church family I have now when I lost Dad. So, last but not least...my Mom--she lost her husband too soon, but he would be so proud of what she's done, what she's learned, and most of all how she continues the legacy of love by her devotion to her family.
I know I was blessed to have a Dad like mine for 26 years.
Grief is a journey--I think one that does not end (at least not in 5 years!), but you continue to learn a bit along the way--and to remember--to remember the smile, the lessons, and the love.
Dad, missing you today and always.
-Tara
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3 comments:
Tara,
I love these posts and how much joy you have in remembering your dad. I am so glad that God has carried you through such a difficult time. I pray that on the really sad days when grief sweeps over you that you'll feel His loving arms around you and hold onto the hope we have in Jesus.
Thanks for sharing your memories.
myra
Tara -
I didn't know your dad...I didn't really know you much when it happened...but I do remember it. I remember Jared telling me about it...it was the same time we were getting married...anyway...thanks for posting these...I glad to have had a glimpse as to what a great daddy he was.
Love,
Elisabeth
You are making me very, very sad. Stop it!! You are right grief is a journey that never ends, but I am here to tell you my wonderful friend, the journey gets easier and easier, but it is never forgotten and will never end!
Robyn
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